i can't believe that at this time last week, milo was inside me, and now he's not. one week ago, we had no clue if we were having a boy or a girl, and now we have a milo.
it's pretty mind boggling, really.
it's also milo's "supposed to be" birth-day today. but instead he was born exactly one week early, and i'm so glad he was!
so, in honor of his one week old-ness, this one's for him:
dear sweet little milo,
one week ago today you were born. the night before, your daddy and i had made a dish that was supposed to help women go into labor, because we were so excited to meet you, and we just didn't want to wait anymore. it was delicious, but when i woke up that next morning, i didn't really feel any different. i figured it probably wasn't going to work, and we went about our day like any other.
it was a perfectly gorgeous day out. brightly sunny, blue skies and even a little warm for this second weekend in october. we had decided we wanted to check out the farmer's market that's at the town square (isn't it so fun that we live in a town that has a town square?) every saturday till the end of this month.
so we got up a little bit early (for a saturday morning, anyhow), and got dressed, and headed out. there were so many fun vendors - a lady who sells mittens made from old wool sweaters, bird-house crafters, pastry bakers, honey-bee keepers, and of course, the farmers with their produce. we bought some kolodgekies (i have no idea how that pastry is spelled) for breakfast and ate them as we walked along checking everything out. there was also a muffin lady from whom we bought a pumpkin muffin that was quite delicious.
i got asked many times "when are you due?" with a clear indication that they were worried i might pop right then and there, and while i was certainly hoping it would be that day, i reassured them all that i still had a week to go.
we bought some homemade jams (a wild plum and a black raspberry), and some honey, since we were running out, and i love getting local honey. also a butternut squash which i had planned to bake that day and make filling to freeze for future butternut squash ravioli. next we went to the bagel place in town where they make their own bagels. except we only got a chai latte for me, and coffee for your dad, since we had already eaten plenty.
while we enjoyed our beverages and watched the people coming and going, we also planned out our day and the days ahead. we discussed which church we wanted to try out on sunday, since this was our first sunday we would have the chance to do so. we talked about what else needed to get done around the house, and decided that we would check out the walmart/target/fleet farm/etc to see if we could find a hanging pot rack and possibly a dvd rack (we didn't). as you can see, we weren't entirely convinced that the eggplant parmesan we'd eaten the night before would ensure your arrival.
as we went about, i was finding that i had to pee just about every 5 seconds. entering a store? "ooh, ben, i gotta pee!" leaving a store? "ooh, ben, i gotta pee!" on our way to the next store? "ooh, ben, i gotta pee!" we figured you had probably finally dropped, though i still couldn't tell from looking in a mirror.
by our last store, i was also feeling ravenously hungry for chocolate. we were at wal-mart, and we had bought something else too, but in looking for a check out line, i searched for the one with the crunch bars.
as i wolfed down the crunch bar (ben said it was scary, i opened it, and three bites later it was gone... i told him i was hungry), i started to notice that my stomach was getting hard, and all over hard, too. could these possibly be the fabled braxton hicks? i was also a fiery inferno of heat. it was a hot day to begin with, but every store we went into felt like a sauna... "ben, is it hot in here?" "no dear, it's just you." he said he could even see the sweat on my face and feel the heat in my hands. i was sure i was going to spontaneously combust at any second. after wal-mart, i told him to take me straight home so i could take a cold shower.
after showering, i had your dad feel my stomach during what i thought was a contraction; he felt it, too, and we both noticed that afterwards, my tummy felt squishy. so false or true, these were definitely contractions... they didn't seem all that regular or frequent though, so we decided i would drink some water, lie down and we watched a movie while we waited to see if they went away. they didn't.
i wanted it so badly to be true contractions, but i was also afraid to get too hopeful. i didn't want to get all excited to meet you and have it turn out that i still needed to wait another week. i decided that first, the dishes needed to be done and my hospital bag repacked incase this was true labor.
while running about, trying to get all these things done, feeling nervous, anxious, and completely absent minded about what i should be doing, i called christina who said to call the hospital and see what they had to say. (your dad said the same thing... i really need to get better about taking his suggestions.) so i did, and they said to start timing the contractions. doy! so i did. they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart, each lasting 30 seconds to 1 minute, and this went on for an hour (and continued). i called the hospital again, because they still were completely painless; it just felt too easy. (while i was timing, i got your dad to finish the dishes and install your carseat. i was in total nesting mode, and it was all i could do to force myself to just lay there and count.)
i was told that there was no guarantee that i was in labor, but that i should come in anyway. so your dad packed the car and i got myself in; i made him put the waterproof mattress liner on the passenger car seat in case my water broke on the way there (i did not want to have to deal with that mess).
i tried to stay calm as we made the 45 minute trip to the hospital, but the closer we got, the stronger the contractions got. i was sure this had to be it, and yet still so afraid to believe it and have my hopes dashed. the anxiety and tension of "is this or isn't this?" was entirely worse than the contractions (which, while still not quite painful, had started to become rather uncomfortable).
when we got there, they said i was 6 cm dilated and that they were keeping me!
which leads me to your birth, but i think that's a story for another day.
so there you have it, my sweet milo, that was how your dad and i spent our last day before you were born.