Thursday, September 23, 2010

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go...

or not.

tomorrow is my (almost) 37 week appointment. i'm supposed to have my bags packed and ready for labor and delivery, because theoretically, i could give birth any day now...

in addition to having them ready, i'm also supposed to bring them with me to every appointment (or at least have them in the car) in case when i get there the midwife says, "hey looky there, you're ready to go! we're sending you straight to the delivery room!" and considering how far away our hospital is from our current, as well as our soon-to-be, residence, i almost feel it would be asking for an early delivery not to have our bags packed and with us.

but i'm just not ready yet. if we were in our own place and everything was settled in, perhaps i'd feel differently, as it's getting increasingly difficult to move around, walk, breathe (although that last one was only when i was bent over to paint my toenails this afternoon).

so anyhow, i should really pack my bag tonight, since our appointment is early tomorrow morning, but i really don't want to. i don't even know where to begin, and i think i'm still in denial a little bit?

i'm almost afraid to admit it, but i haven't even felt any braxton hicks contractions yet - let alone any of the other precursors to delivery. if this baby is coming in the next day or two, he/she certainly hasn't given me any warning signals that are usually eminent right before a birth.

but better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it (as my dad always taught me so well).... so i'm off to go pack my stinkin hospital bag... :\

(i just really really really hope we don't actually have to use it tomorrow.)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

which came first, johnny cash or giving birth? (or) johnny cash has birthed babies?

i've been meaning to write this one down for awhile... (obviously "giving birth" came before "johnny cash" but you'll see what i'm getting at momentarily.)

during our baby classes, and in reading/preparing myself for labor, a very descriptive term has come to my attention.

in one of the videos we watched at our baby classes, a woman described feeling "the ring of fire" as her baby crowned. she was not the first to use this term, as i've heard/read it several other times (at least), but who was?

did the term come to popularity after johnny cash's "ring of fire" hit the airwaves? or did johnny cash simply decide to give term new meaning?

i'm not feeling nearly as terrified of labor as i used to (and yet, it still makes me anxious...), but i think it could be really funny to add johnny cash's "ring of fire" to my playlist (i plan to bring my own music via the ever so fabulous iPod/iHome), and play that as the baby crowns.

i can just picture johnny cash in the corner of the delivery room, all in black, with his guitar, strumming and singing to match the intensity of my condition, his twangy voice belting out...

"and it burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire! the ring of fire!"

makes me giggle every time... at least right now it does. i doubt i'll be giggling when i feel the "ring of fire" for myself, but who knows, maybe birth will be a breeze? ha! :P

Thursday, September 16, 2010

one month and counting....

today is exactly one month from from my due date. come saturday, i'll be 36 weeks, with only 4 more weeks to go. next saturday, i'll be 37 weeks, full term!

and i have to say, even for all i gripe about the little things (or at least i feel like i do a lot of griping via this blog) i assure you, i am not all that miserable. more so just trying to keep track of what i'm feeling, all the odds and ends of what my ever-changing, constantly-growing body is going through.

really though, (i'm almost afraid to say it), this pregnancy has been pretty easy. minus the round ligament pain i was attacked with about halfway through, and then the hot flashes on those hottest days when we first got back to minnesota (did i forget to write about those?)... that's been the worst of it. (let's hope i don't have to make up for missing out on most of the miserable come labor.)

and when i think about it, pregnancy really is the easiest part of having/raising children. my child needs food? all i have to do is eat it myself. (WAY easier than trying to convince a toddler that green things are good. "open your mouth, here comes the airplane! ...please?") i don't have to worry about whether my child is too hot or too cold, i just need to keep myself at a reasonable temperature. no poopy diapers to hold my breath for. no fussiness to try and solve. with the baby currently a residential "extension" of myself, i can simply care for myself, and that covers baby's needs as well.

but despite the ease of taking care of my child in this manner, i sure am glad it's temporary... (can you imagine a 6 foot adult still curled up in my womb? terrifying!) it would be no fun if this child didn't get to become their own person, if he/she didn't get the chance to try eating dirt, to sneak cookie dough with me when grandma Z isn't looking, to figure out the difference between what is good and what is bad (in all areas of life - cookies are good, so are vegetables, cherry popsicles in barbeque sauce with seaweed is probably pretty bad; U2 is good, nickelback is bad; and so on...), to find his/her passions and know the fear and courage of pursuing said passions.

plus there are things i'm greatly looking forward to once this baby has made his/her entrance into the world (after taking some time to recover, of course), which include, but are not limited to:

  • hot baths - not just these lukewarm-ish imposters i've been stuck with for the past 8 months (and saunas, and even the occasional hot tub, which my mother believes is bad, but i find them to be good, if they are clean and preferably privately owned by friends.)
  • being able to eat eggs-over-easy (and the occasional bit of cookie dough) without feeling intense guilt for doing so.
  • a full glass of wine or a ginger ale & peach schnapps zinger (for which i know i either need to wait until i'm no longer breastfeeding, or else find alternative means for feeding my child, but still, it'll be a much more viable option postpartum than "inpartum".)
  • roller coasters
  • jumping off the diving board at the pool
  • for that matter, being able to jump at all! (and bend over, and wear shoes, and walk without waddling...)
  • sleeping on my back. or my stomach. either or would be fine with me.
the list goes on, i'm sure, but for now, i should really get back to my regularly scheduled programming of eating and trying to get my swollen feet (and hands now, too) to not be so swollen.... among other things, of course.

Monday, September 13, 2010


(or not...)

but i'm quite certain this baby was trying to escape via my belly button as we were leaving the renaissance festival yesterday. "haha! look at this! it's weaker in this spot, there's this weird bunching on the other side, this must be where the knot is tied on this weird balloon that i'm stuck in. time to break freeeeee!!!!"

baby's entire body was crammed up against my belly button and pushing out with very convincing force. but no go, baby. too bad, so sad; you're staying in!

and while ben has stated that he thinks i'll be two weeks early, he's also recently informed me that if i could go into labor on the night of october 8th (a friday), it would be perfect, since he already has that weekend off, then he could take 5 vacation days and get the entire following week off of work as well, plus he's already scheduled to have the weekend after that off as well. so 9 days off for 5 vacation days.

i'm still very anxious to get into our own place in owatonna (which has now been projected to be ready by the end of september), and things have been moving along for sure, but there are still other hinderances that keep it from being finished. but that aside, i'm continually getting more and more excited to meet the little squirt. although birth and becoming a mother still scare the dookie out of me, i'm anxious to play with the little feet that keep trying to push through my belly, or the arms and hands that try to tango with my bladder, to smell that new baby smell, and see what color eyes our baby has, and whose nose and mouth are gracing baby's face, to make faces with baby and googley gibberish noises that others would find ridiculously absurd.

so i'm thinking, as long as we are indeed able to move into the house by the end of september, and settling in is going smoothly enough, perhaps i'll try this recipe for eggplant parmesan. supposedly, over 300 babies have been born within 48 hours of their mothers eating this dish. (it's from a restaurant, and when they started noticing the trend, they began keeping track and advertising it as a way to get labor going.) if anyone wants to join us for eggplant parmesan on thursday, october 7th, let me know. we'll make a party of it!

Saturday, September 11, 2010


today i am exactly 35 weeks along, and i have only 35 days left - crazzzyyyy!!!

i also have only 5 weeks left until my due date, and 2 weeks until this baby is full term. i can hardly believe it!

this morning i think the baby may have been doing some kungfu on my innerds - there was this pinching pain on the right side. i think the inside of my belly could very well be bruised from the kiddo. i thought it might have been my first episode of braxton hicks (ie "practice") contractions, but my stomach didn't feel tight or hard all across, so i'm not entirely sure.

at dinner the other night, though, we could actually see the baby moving. a little foot or knee or something bubbled across the right side near my belly button (the baby seems to favor my right side). that was pretty cool.

i also finally ordered a wrap, which i'm SO excited for!

it's this one

by lovey duds at and i'm can't wait to try it out (i'll probably test it with the cat, if i can coerce her into it).

and lastly - the midwives at mayo; this is what i am most excited for. the midwife i met with yesterday was so very wonderful and encouraging and she said that all the midwives (as i'll get whoever is on-call for the delivery) are all of the same mindset. their way of doing things - whether it's pain relief, an episiotomy, inducing, or all the other possibilities that arise during labor - is to inform the mother of the options, all the risks and benefits of those options, and then whatever the mother decides, they support it 100% and help the mother achieve that goal (for example, if a mother wanted a completely med. free birth). that is exactly what i was hoping for when it came to the person waiting between my legs to catch the little squirt.

all in all, it's been a good week. now we just have to keep the bun baking for another five!

Monday, September 6, 2010

happy birthday? to ME?!?!

today is my birthday. my last one without children (even if we are anxiously anticipating the arrival of our first), and i'm feeling such a mixed bag of emotions:

apathetic, as it feels like there's so much more going on - between the baby, the house, ben working, labor day weekend, etc. etc., and so today is just another day like any other. plus i'm sure the fact that i'm still so anxious about everything else that needs to get done (or rather, that i'd really very much prefer to have done) before this baby arrives has made just about everything else - including my own birthday - feel so irrelevant and minor in comparison.

wistful towards my youth. i know i'm still young, in my prime even, but being so very pregnant and now a year older makes me feel so very grown-up and boring. with the current condition i'm in of bending over slowly, getting tired easily, feeling winded just from climbing a set of stairs, and it practically requiring an act of congress for me to do anything involving my feet (trying on shoes, painting my toenails, stepping into pants, and that's just the basics) - nevermind the fact that i will never have the body i did when i was 16 or even 22 (a factor full of vanity, i know) - i find myself yearning for those days that lacked any great responsibility and when i didn't even give a second thought to what i ate or how much i weighed. i was sprightly, and not just in spirit. i climbed trees and jumped over puddles. i'm not even sure if i'm capable of jumping at this magnitude.

frustrated with my own self - wanting to celebrate, but back to the first feelings of apathy and anxiety, not really knowing what i want to do, or what's even available to do. (although katrina - ben's sister - and i did go shopping at the outlet malls just outside of owatonna today. that was fun. except that i'd like to take this opportunity to address gap, old navy and all shoe stores: you really need to start carrying maternity clothes in your outlet stores, as well as a nice selection of shoes size 10 and up. i know you make them, and us preggos like to try things on, too, ya know. and our poor little feet are so swollen that not even shoes fit like they should anymore. so it'd be nice to be able to get good discounts for things that were made for our bodies, and not just the extra-large or extra-extra-large version of things made for normal bodies that make me miss the days when i fit into normal clothes.)

okay, i think that's enough of the pity-party for this birthday girl. on to more exciting things:
baby is still the size of a honeydew melon (which, coincidentally, is also the name of the color for the nursery!), and, at 34 weeks and 2 days along, i have less than six weeks to go! (did you read that right? less than 6 weeks to go!!!!! yikes?) it's already gone by so fast. i'm guessing it'll continue to be a whirlwind until our kids are having kids of their own. (and even then, does it every truly stop or slow down? i'm guessing not. i believe it was c.s. lewis who said "the future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour. whatever he does, whoever he is.")

also, baby is estimated (by standard growth averages, not my doctor) to be about 5.5 pounds, crazy! i still remember when the little squirt was barely the size of an appleseed, and pounds weren't even an option when considering baby's weight.

our last baby class is this thursday, and our next check up with the midwife is friday, so i'm sure i'll have more to report at the end of this week :)

Friday, September 3, 2010

i can have redbull, right?

(just kidding, mom!)

but boy, am i ever tired! i went on a whirlwind long-weekend trip back to the chicagoland area and to door county, (with essentially two days to travel each way - i took the train, but on my way there i left early in the morning on my way back arrived late at night, so i stayed in red wing with ben's grandparents both the night before and the night after my departing/return via train) and i feel like i was going non-stop, from the time i woke up to the time i went to sleep at night...

so the day after i got back (yesterday) it was all i could do to keep my eyes open. i am one pooped out little preggo - i feel like i'm still recovering.

we only have one baby class left, and next week (on friday) we have another baby checkup, but this time with one of the mid-wives, which i'm very excited for.

one of the highlights of the weekend (and there were many, but i don't have the energy to get into it all at this time) was my dear friend kate did a maternity photo shoot for me.

it's been way too long since i've seen her, and we always have major funsies together, and this was no different. plus, it was a major boost to my idea of the gorilla-influenced body image i mentioned in my last post.

(i added pictures to my "oh baby!" album on facebook - but they're at the end of the album, so don't get confused when you see a familiar looking picture and an almost non-existent bump.)

another plus - as an early birthday present, i got a wii fit plus - i'm only on my third day of working out on the thing (not too strenuously, of course), but i feel so much healthier already! (especially after a month of not exercising and over indulging in my snacky/sugary cravings, when previously, i'd had access to a gym and managed to make it over there at least a couple times a week. eep!)

anyhow, it was a great weekend filled with loved ones and fun times, but boy am i glad to be back to the every day mundane of helping with chores and twiddling my thumbs... (for the time being, at least.)