Thursday, June 2, 2011

taking a break

my parents have had milo for almost a full week now. i got to see him and take care of him for a short while on monday after the girls left and ben was still driving out, and we ran into them again as ben and i were walking down a main road, and they pulled up - milo smiled so wide and big. his bottom teeth seem to be completely out - i can't imagine them getting any bigger (although i'm sure they will, they're still so tiny.) his top center tooth started cutting through that sunday night into monday, and my mom tells me that the top tooth just to the right of the one that's already out is starting to break free as well.

i have moments of wondering what milo is doing, wanting to hold him and cuddle him, even moments of wanting to be silly, and realizing that the majority of the time i'm with milo - especially if he is playing and i'm getting stuff done - is being silly and doing things in an exaggerated, playful, goofy character, so that milo stays entertained, but i can finish putting away the dishes or sweeping the floor.

and there's definitely been times where i start to feel guilty that we don't have milo with us - we're parents, we chose this responsibility; it feels a little lazy and free-loader-ish to simply say "here mom, have fun!" .... and i know that's not it, though - she offered to take him, and i know she's loving every minute of it.

anyhow, all this to say, i have been so very grateful for this time to catch up on sleep, to think through an entire thought without getting interrupted by a sweet little boy who just needs me to take care of him, to discuss in depth with ben our plans and desires for life, to read a book!

i look forward to going back to the every day, with renewed energy and enthusiasm, i'm actually excited to keep working through cleaning out the garage, organizing, simplifying, and getting ready for a garage sale, for continuing to work with milo to eat more solids throughout the day and establishing a better nap schedule for every day.

it was a hard point to get to, but forcing myself to rest, to not worry, to let go..... what a difference it makes. i think this has been our best vacation yet. maybe next year i can tackle truly resting AND having milo with us all the while. ;P

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