well, just one dream, really.
there's a lot more weirdness to it, but the part that left me most weirded out was the beginning, and that's really the only part worth retelling, so here it is:
i gave birth at only 5 months along to a very healthy baby girl - she was 9 frikkin pounds!!! i don't even remember the birth part, i was simply in the hospitable, having just given birth, they tell me it's a girl and she's 9 pounds. i was supposed to work that day, so i leave the baby with my dad at the hospital. (real-life, my parents are visiting for the week, so maybe that's how my dad got dragged into dream-world? i have no clue. i'll let any of you freudians out there dissect this one for me if you feel so inclined.)
anyhow, i finally get done with my shift, so i go back to the hospital to pick up my baby. my dad tells me that they needed a name, so he named her petra. you read that right. p-e-t-r-a. petra?! petra! (real-life again, i seem to remember a girl in one of my college classes who was also named petra, as well as my best friend/former roommate, christina, who had a petra t-shirt, but those memories are a bit hazy, especially now that preggo brain has ensued.)
so ben and i are trying to discuss how to gently break it to my dad that petra is not a name we were considering naming our baby, and that we will be changing it.
and then i finally get to see petra.
i know all babies are supposed to be beautiful, but the only beauty petra would ever have attained could only have been inner beauty (unless of course she decided to go the cosmetic surgery route). she was huge to begin with (again, the 9 pounds, looked more like a 1 year old than a freshly born infant), she had jet black hair fashioned in a donald-trump-look-alike-coif, and a giant fuzzy black unibrow, complete with snarling chubby baby face.
i wasn't repulsed or anything. i didn't feel a lack of love for this baby. i just felt it was matter of fact that i had given birth to the ugliest baby ever. we still needed to address the issue of my dad naming her petra.
then the dream went on, as i mentioned before, but hopefully you enjoyed that as much as i did.
i shared it with my coworker friends and now it's our new slang. latte art didn't turn out quite so pretty? "wow, what a petra!" spilled some milk? "you really petra'd that one!" customer being unpleasant? "she was such a petra!" and then we giggle. who knows, maybe it'll catch on?
PS - to all you women named petra that may or may not be reading this: i don't think your name is hideous or outrageously strange. i don't think your name should be synonymous with "ugly" "bad" or "annoying" - but i will probably always associate it with my ugly 9 pound dream baby. it's not you, it's me. i promise. please don't take offense to my hormonally hopped up dreams.
PPS - dear future baby, just so you know, if you come out with jet black donald trump hair, a snarling face, and a caterpillar sized unibrow, i won't love you any less. if you never achieve worldly beauty, i will not be disappointed in you. worldly beauty is overrated, anyhow. if you weigh 9 pounds, i probably won't be too thrilled when push must come to shove on your birth-day, but i'll probably forget about it by the 1st anniversary of your joyous arrival. i hope.
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