just a classic case of "careful what you wish for"

even with an easy baby, it's not always easy.

i remember not long after milo was born and - having trouble getting him to sleep in his crib, whereas he was content to sleep on our chest or in the swing - thinking "once he starts rolling over, then he'll be able to flip back and forth all the live long day (and night); then i won't have to worry so much about him sleeping at night."

well, now that he's rolling over, and sleeping on his side, sometimes he winds up on his belly. from the monitor, i can't fully tell if his head is turned or if he's smothering himself.

which makes me worry.

do i wake him up to go return him to his back? will he really be able to tell if he's not getting enough air? what if he's creating a carbon monoxide buildup between his mouth/nostrils and the mattress?

oy.

i've seen him turn from stomach/side to back when on his playmat, but i can't recall if he's ever successfully done so on his crib mattress...

so last night, when i saw he was on his stomach, i had ben turn him over after we knew he was probably asleep and wouldn't rewake. (it had been a pretty rough night, he woke up lots, was terribly fussy, and didn't want to go back to sleep, but he was fine when i had him on the changing table to change his diaper. i knew he was okay, just crying out of frustration and sleepiness.)

at 4:30 when he woke again, i checked on him, he was able to go back to sleep after some more fussing, he was on his belly again. so i rolled him back over as gently as i could, hoping to copy ben both in technique and success. no such luck - he woke up, fussed some more, but soon enough went to his side and was able to get back to sleep.

i'm okay with side sleeping, or when it's clear that his head is turned. but now i'm looking forward to when he's even more mobile, and when we're past that 6 month risk factor for sids...

i know i need to appreciate each new stage he enters while we're there, because pretty soon he's going to be 10 years old (or however long it takes for a boy to outgrow his mother) and too cool for me. no more cuddles and snuggles, no more being his favorite, no more smothering him with kisses.

and yet even knowing this, i keep looking to the next stage thinking it will be easier. (i'm starting to realize this is probably not true.)