and in the meantime, it's all i can do to keep my own lips sealed.
i hate lying, and if it all possible, i just won't do it. but i've been finding myself in situations where i can't tell the flat-out truth. i can't think of specific examples off the top of my head, but things have come up several times where the obvious reason behind the "no" is that i'm pregnant. so deli meat is questionable, certain teas are off limits, and my behavior - as i've mentioned before - is erratic at best... and that's just to name a few. and so i find myself simply saying "no thank you" or something to that effect, and while that may not be a lie in and of itself, i still fill dishonest, because if probed further, i say things like "caffeine makes me too jittery, so i've stopped drinking it."
ah, that's it! that's the most recent predicament in which i found myself. at work the other day, i was elated to discover that we have a decaf spiced chai, but as my coworker noticed me making the decaf over the regular, she asked "so why are you so against caffeine?" and what i've been telling people, which isn't at all true, is that "it makes me too jittery, so i've stopped drinking it." caffeine doesn't make me jittery - at least not in the small quantities which i used to drink it. but while i've read it's okay to have some caffeine, i'd just as soon not expose baby mushroom to the possible harmful side effects that go with it, so for now "caffeine makes me jittery," and i feel so guilty and so dishonest every time i say it.
but while i'm at it - other things i've had to cut out: apparently the fumes from nail polish aren't safe, either - well, some brands are taking out the ingredients that aren't so popular, like formaldehyde (i had no idea some nail polishes even had that in there to begin with!) but i looked at the ones i had, and none of them were okay to use. the dilemma at hand - a friend had invited me to a girls' night in party to watch the oscar awards and get dressed up and all that fun stuff like giggling and eating delicious food that happens when you get a bunch of girls together. and in the excitement of getting dressed up, i really wanted to paint my nails. so what did i do? i found the facemask ben bought for me when we were scraping lead paint back at the house in red wing (not just one of those white little cover things - this was the kind that had a rubber mask to suction over your face and the round filters on the side) and i painted my nails, fume-free!
ben found it funny. i found it highly resourceful!
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