anyhow, so i took the plunge today and after a quick shift where i filled in to help with the extra business coming in from the st. patty's day parade, i asked her if she had time to talk.
she was in a good mood, and i wanted to tell her before i started applying for any other jobs (i did also apply for a para-ed, but i still haven't heard anything back from them, and it would only last for 2 more months before summer hit and school's out, so i'm not sure that would have been ideal, anyhow), so it really seemed like the best time to tell her. i started with the good news - yay! i'm pregnant! woohoo! (probably not as enthusiastic, though, as i was still so nervous and sweating like a banshee - although apparently i've gotten that phrase wrong, as banshees don't sweat, they scream. still, i'm going with it. i was sweating like a banshee.)
and then went into how i felt i needed to be looking for other employment, as we have credit card debt to pay down and savings to build up and a baby to prepare for. she asked what i was looking for, and i told her that the first thing i've seen so far is a teller position at the bank.
we talked about it for awhile, and she made some really good points: i wouldn't be making anymore at a bank than at the coffeeshop, i'd still be on my feet all day, and at least at the coffeshop there are tips and i get to do what i love.
and then she said the magic words, "i can give you full time if that's what you want. i just didn't think you wanted that many hours, so i've been holding you back."
and after talking with her and with ben, i think we've come to the conclusion that it really does make the most sense to stay at the coffeeshop. she reassured me that the summer tourist season really isn't as bad as i'm worried it will be (i brought up that concern, too), that really it's just steady all the time, but there's always at least two people on, and the tips are even better during the summer.
so after all that nervous sweating, i'm actually quite excited. i have a boss who knows that i'm pregnant and is totally understanding of the fact that every once in awhile i will need to take a 5 minute break and give my feet a rest, who's happy to give me the time off around easter so we can go to minnesota to visit family and share the big news with those who don't know yet, and who's willing to work with me so i can make the money we need to pay off bills and hopefully save enough that by the time october rolls around, i can focus on staying home with the baby and not have to worry about working (God willing).
and concerning other possible jobs, now i don't have to worry about feeling super guilty and dishonest applying for another job under the pretense that i'm not pregnant (since it's illegal to ask and i hadn't planned on sharing such information in any interviews), only to reveal less than a month later - only 3 weeks till easter, folks! :D and we live in a small town, so once it hits facebook and it's out in the open then anyone who knows me will know, and possibly even those who don't know me? i'm still figuring out how the small town gossip mill works - that come october 16th-ish, i'd be leaving. that aspect really made me uncomfortable when it came to applying for another job, but i tried to let it go with the rationale that it's a tough economy, and ya gotta do what ya gotta do. well now i don't even have to worry about it!
so that's a huge relief, and a weight off my shoulders. my boss is great, i really do love what i do and who i work with, and i now have a full-time job. hallelujah! :)