Friday, March 12, 2010

"you're so vain..." (not baby related, but then again, maybe it is?)

okay, so this is totally stupid, i know, but it's still a little bit frustrating, so i'm gonna vent anyway. my new license came in the mail today. when we moved to wyoming and i got my license, i was pretty happy with the picture. (i'll admit it, i can be a little vain sometimes, or maybe it's just poor body image? regardless, i like to look good when i have the time & energy, but especially in documented photos that get pulled out often for the various things that require a photo id.) so when we moved across town, and i went in to update my license, i was told i could either just update it in the system, which was free, but i wouldn't get a new license, just a slip of paper and it would be on police file, or i could pay $15 to get a new license with my correct address on it. well, for some reason the whole slip of paper idea just didn't sit right with me, so i opted to get a whole new license - which then required me to fill out an application, take the eye exam, and retake my picture. none of which i would have had to do had i just gone with the slip of paper. none of which they told me until after i had jumped through all their new license hoops.

i wasn't prepared to get my picture taken. my hair was a mess, i was wearing comfy clothes (ie, probably pajama pants and a sweatshirt, to be completely honest - it was, afterall, my day off that i went in), and i rarely wear makeup anymore unless i have a reason to - like getting my picture taken at the dmv.

but while i can admit here in "public privacy"* that i may be a little bit vain from time to time (*i know friends/family are reading this, but anyone else who may have stumbled here probably doesn't know me, so i feel free to talk openly in the anonymity), i certainly don't want to come off that way. while i am probably too concerned with my own appearance, i also have conflicting views that appearance is overrated. more women should be seeking the inner beauty that comes from gracious living and a heart after God's own, and accept themselves as God created them. more men should appreciate said inner beauty, and not ogle superficial outer beauty which is often fake and air brushed, or at the very least, store bought and still not all-natural.

so anyhow, not wanting to come off as vain, i agree to take the picture, and when they let me look at it, i can see that it's not the best picture i've ever taken (at least i'm not mid-snarling-sneeze, but at least that would have been funny), and yet i'm too embarrassed to ask for a retake.

i figured, maybe the thumbnail version on my license won't look so bad. but the stupid thing came in the mail today, and sure enough, staring back at me was a picture of someone who looked like she's in her 40's, not mid-twenty, and she probably never leaves the house, and was probably sick with the flu when this photo was taken. and i'll bet she even has lice and smells funny.

can you tell i've really been struggling with body image lately?
i blame pregnancy hormones and pregnancy bloat and pregnancy-can't-do-hardcore-workouts-and-eat-less-to-take-care-of-extra-pounds-that-i-put-on-pre-pregnancy. and more-so, i blame the stupid dmv for making me retake a perfectly good picture when my "old" picture is less than 5 months old, just because of new stupid policies.
oh glory, what a day.

(but don't worry, little mushroom, i still love you!)

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